Songs For My Father

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Songs of Praise

The dream begins in a room where Dad's body is and the JJ and I pick it up and take it outside. JJ prepares the body rubbing something on the hands and feet and I say "don't ask me to do that."
Aunt Bessie appears in black walking by.
Next the scene shift and JJ and I enter a room with several very small round tables. Directly in front of us is a table with the family sitting there including my father. There are two empty chairs to the right and as I go with JJ to sit I think what an awfully small table. I see the table with small plates at each setting and then another shift and I find myself seated across from my father looking into his eyes. I can feel his knee under the table and I touch it thinking how substantial it is. The thought is in my mind that his leg merges with mine somehow. I can't quite read his expression and then he starts singing. I try to follow the words. It is in Aramaic, he sings three times Tushberov or Tushberoh (Tushbekol means praise so it is some derivative of this.) I break down with grief and suddenly remember to stop crying and start smiling. I laugh and my father smiles suddenly and then his expression goes back to what it was before when he was singing and then he starts in again singing Tushbero. It is like he trails off here saying. 'help yourself by helping yourself' and 'no more tending' and then the scene morphs into something unintelligible and I wake up

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